3 Permission Slips Every Overwhelmed Couple Needs to Hear
There’s a moment in almost every wedding planning journey where the weight of all the decisions starts to feel a little… heavy.
Maybe you’ve got a dozen tabs open trying to find the “perfect” ceremony time for lighting. Or you’re wondering if you need to spend $200 on velvet vow books you’re not even sure you’ll read again. Or maybe your group texts are filled with well-meaning opinions that don’t really reflect you.
If that sounds familiar, this is your gentle reminder:
You are allowed to make choices that prioritize your peace, not just Pinterest.
Planning a wedding can feel like one giant performance if you’re not careful. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Below are three permission slips I want to hand you, especially if you’re feeling like you’re juggling too much or forgetting why you’re doing this in the first place.
Permission Slip #1:
You don’t have to do everything “for the photos.”
Let’s be honest—weddings have become incredibly visual events. Between Instagram, TikTok, and styled shoot inspiration galore, it’s easy to feel like everything needs to be camera-ready, all the time.
But here’s the thing: your wedding is not a content strategy.
It’s a living, breathing, feeling kind of day. And those imperfect, joy-soaked, real moments? They often make for the most meaningful photos anyway.
If timing your ceremony for golden hour doesn’t align with your priorities, don’t do it. If champagne towers or flat lays aren’t your vibe, skip them. If the idea of staging a “First Look” feels really uncomfortable, trust that instinct.
The best photos come from a place of truth. They reflect the real energy of the day, not how well it matched a trending aesthetic.
Permission Slip #2:
You’re allowed to make decisions based on your values, not tradition.
Not every tradition is going to feel right for every couple. And that’s okay.
Whether it’s skipping the bouquet toss (please do), deciding that you don’t need a crowd of matching outfits beside you to feel supported, wearing a color that’s not white, or walking down the aisle together instead of with a parent — you have full permission to build a wedding that feels like you, not a checklist of expectations.
Tradition can be beautiful. But only when it feels aligned. If something brings you joy? Keep it. If it makes you cringe, roll your eyes, or feel like you’re doing it “just because”? That’s a sign it might not belong in your day.
This is especially important for queer couples, multicultural families, and anyone navigating complicated family dynamics or outdated gender roles. You are allowed to create new rituals that feel meaningful to you. You don’t need to justify them to anyone.
Permission Slip #3:
You’re allowed to ask for help (and not feel guilty about it).
Planning a wedding is a lot. Even if you’re organized. Even if you’re excited. Even if you have a supportive crew around you.
Asking for help isn’t a failure. It’s a form of self-respect.
You don’t have to carry every task, decision, or emotional weight on your own. Loop your partner in. Let your inner circle step up. Hire support when you can. You don’t get extra credit for doing it all yourself.
You deserve to experience your day as the couple getting married, not the point person for timelines, deliveries, and last-minute decisions.
If that feels hard to imagine, this is where working with a planner can be a game-changer. The right one won’t make it feel transactional. They’ll partner with you so you can focus on the parts of planning — and the day itself — that actually matter to you.
You don’t need a permission slip to plan a wedding that reflects your heart. But if you’ve been waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay to do things differently?
Here it is.
This day is about your love, your story, and your priorities. Not performance. Not pressure. Not perfection. And when you lead with what matters most to you? Everything else tends to fall into place.
