Since January is a big month for self-care and setting new goals for ourselves, I wanted to take a moment to remind you, dear reader, that wedding planning can be HARD. (Wait, did you need that reminder?) Ok, I mean wedding planning can be a lot of hard work and it’s important to take care of yourself and keep a healthy wedding mindset as you go through the process.
If you’re anything like me, taking time for yourself (especially when there are to-do’s that need to-do’ing) can lead to some major feelings of guilt. But there are only so many hours in a day and I also know that I work best when I’ve taken a bit of time to do the things that make me feel best. Sometimes taking an hour to get in a workout feels like the LAST THING I have time for, yet when I do, the rest of my day is more productive than ever. So it’s actually a win-win.
But wedding planning is unlike anything else and can be a BEAST to many of us. Trying to think of all the things, not knowing what you simply don’t know, and investing a TON of money into an event that just might be the biggest event of your life.
I mean, no pressure. Right?!?! It’s fine. I’m not crying. Stop it!
So here are some reminders that might help you navigate this process and give yourself a bit of relief along the way.
There’s no right or wrong way to get married.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you only need three (maybe four) things to get married:
- A marriage license.
- Someone to marry you.
- Someone to marry.
- Maybe a cute outfit.
Everything else about a wedding is a “luxury”. From the flowers to the guests to the photos to the dinner – it’s all a party. And that’s ok. You can have those things and have a blast. But if they’re all extras. And that means you can pick and choose what things you want to have and what things you don’t want to have.
Obviously, I feel that if you’re going to do something, do it right and you always get what you pay for. It’s truly about giving your guests a great experience, but there are so many levels and ways in which you can achieve that.
Don’t get caught up in trying to do what’s right or following all the latest “trends”. Keep your wedding mindset focused by talking through your priorities of the day with your partner and building your decisions around that.
Remember that you’re in this together.
It’s not uncommon for one person in the partnership to take the lead on wedding planning. We all have our strengths that we bring to relationships after all. But at the end of the day, regardless of who is doing what, remember that you are in this together.
My friend Daniel Moyer, who also happens to be a killer wedding photographer and hosts the Put A Ring On It podcast with me, recently shared his analogy of how wedding planning is like climbing a mountain. It’s beautiful and worth the 90 seconds to give it a listen.
I can’t think of a more gorgeous way to visualize any difficult situation you need to get through together. Am I right?!
If you’re struggling with getting your partner to participate in wedding planning, I highly recommend talking with them about it. Let them know your thoughts and feelings and allow them to share theirs, as well.
I also love when couples schedule designated “planning” and “non-planning” nights where wedding talk is strictly on or off the table. This helps to not let wedding planning take over your entire personal lives, but also results in getting stuff crossed off the to-do list.
Photo by Alison Conklin Photography from Amy and Joe’s Lehigh Valley Wedding.
Build a good support system.
The people you surround yourself with will always have an impact on how you are feeling and approaching any obstacle.
If you’re closest comrades are all “Debbie Downers”, every task will feel like you’re trying to climb Mount Everest (barefoot with no snacks, might I add).
Building a good support system for yourself is KEY in maintaining a healthy wedding mindset while planning. From your wedding party to your family to your team of professionals, you want to have a good, mostly positive relationship going on.
This will be especially true on your wedding day. A day consisting of the same 24 hours as every other day where things will go right and things will go wrong. Not necessarily big things (though it’s certainly possible), but little things. And those little things can turn into major catastrophes if you’re close to the edge of losing it and no one around you is there to help hold you back.
If you haven’t yet, this is why I HIGHLY recommend investing in a wedding coordinator to have on your team. This may come across as a shameless plug, but I’ve seen weddings WITH dedicated coordinators and I’ve seen weddings without. The couples who opt to have a coordinator (or planner, wedding manager, etc.) on their team are very often calmer, cooler and more present in the moment because they aren’t worried about the million things that need to be happening. They’ve dumped all that responsibility onto someone else who is prepared to handle it every step of the way. As a result, the couple is able to focus on the most important aspects of the day: Marrying their best friend and celebrating with their favorite people on the planet.
If you’re planning a wedding in the Philly, Bucks, Montgomery, or Lehigh counties (or surrounding areas) and still need a coordinator, please get in touch. If I’m not able to help you, perhaps I can point you in the direction of someone who can.
Or if you’re interested in hearing more about Keeping a Healthy Wedding Mindset, check out the full episode from the Put A Ring On It podcast: